


Growl

by anactoriatalksback



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: But he gets it anyway, Jared can be a little scary, M/M, Not that that was such a surprise, Post S4 Finale, Richard doesn't know how to ask for what he wants, Richard has issues, So yay Richard I guess, Which is a scolding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-07 06:32:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12227496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anactoriatalksback/pseuds/anactoriatalksback
Summary: Richard's turned down Gavin's offer. But if Jared thinks he's accepted, maybe Richard can make that work for him.





	Growl

Richard's feeling pleased with himself.

Gavin made him an offer and Richard turned him down.

More, Richard followed up the offer with a threat.

Even more, when Gavin tried to guilt him, Richard responded with a shrug and a '...thanks.'

And at no point - at no point - did Richard

 

a ) stammer

b ) vomit

c ) soil himself

d ) crack his head on the table, chair, or Gavin's freshly-shaven head

e ) get Gavin's name wrong

f ) get his own name wrong.

 

Yes, he was stuck with the bill, which okay not ideal, but all in all, not too shabby.

When he walks into the Hacker Hostel, he finds the place almost deserted. The lights are out. When he reaches out, there's a quiet flick and Richard jumps to find Jared by the door.

'Jared, Jesus. You can't - fuck, man, don't _lurk_ like that.'

'I'm sorry', says Jared, and he sounds like he means it, but he also sounds like his mind isn't 100000000% on the apology like Richard would expect. His eyes are on Richard. Searching, a little uneasy, a little wary. Very blue. Very very very blue.

Richard reaches up to adjust the strap of his satchel. Jared reaches out to take it from him, his eyes never leaving Richard's. Richard's fingers tighten reflexively around the strap. He feels, suddenly, like he needs the support.

His fingers close on Jared's fingers as well.

Jared lets go, with a murmured apology. He is still scanning Richard's face, anxiously.

'I'm - I'm fine', Richard mutters. Jared hasn't asked him yet.

Jared straightens. 'How was your meeting with Gavin, Richard?'

It comes back, then, to Richard. He grins. 'Gavin made me an offer.'

Jared's back tenses. 'An offer?'

Richard nods.

Jared nods back.  'What kind of offer?'

'Partnership', says Richard. Oh he is enjoying this.

Jared's gaze gets even sharper. 'As before?'

'Yeah but with Hooli behind him this time'. Richard grins again.

Jared's shoulders are drawing inwards. 'That's....that's quite an upgrade.'

Richard preens. He doesn't know what's gotten into him. Maybe the black eye? 'The tech's worth it.' He thinks, then adds slowly ' _I'm_ worth it.'

'You are', says Jared. He takes a breath and steps back. 'Of - of course, this is your ship, and you need to steer it as you think fit.'

Wait, what's happening? Jared doesn't think Richard's gonna - _seriously_ , Jared?

And then Richard sees the set of Jared's shoulders, and the haunted blue of Jared's eyes, and he can see that Jared is really...considering it. Considering the possibility that Richard might sell up, sell out. _To Gavin Belson_.

And he wants to say _What the actual fuck, man, you know me better than that_.

And then he thinks that Jared might smile that sad smile and say 'Yes, I do', and it'll be like the moment he was curled up over his phone playing fucking PeaceFare.

PeaceFare.

If Jared had wanted to, like, _shiv_ Richard, he couldn't have hurt him more.

PeaceFare.

Not even that fucking gaggle of giggling women in Jared's apartment not fucking moments after Anton's fucking intestines were splattered all over Stanford - not even _that_ could hurt Richard more.

Still, though.

Fuck you, Jared, I came for you, I _came_ for you, man, and you couldn't wait one. Fucking. Day. You don't get to, you don't get to give me the PeaceFare, form-letter-resignation, blue fucking puppy eyes of How Could You.

Richard thinks Jared’s going to feel so foolish when he tells him what he told Gavin.

Maybe he’ll well up, those big blue eyes will turn bright and wet in that way that normally makes Richard feel all hot and tight and uncomfortable and…will also do that this time but also there’ll be…something else? The something else Richard doesn’t really like thinking about because Jared is like this, this _fawn_ with his long legs and his impossibly blue eyes and his Adam’s apple that like, bobs when he’s emotional about something and look it’s doing it right now and Richard badly needs a drink of water or something because he is very very thirsty.

Oh, Jared’s just gonna…

So Richard says ‘Yeah, I _am_ the captain, Jared.’

Jared lifts his eyes to Richard’s and how the fuck is he doing that he towers over Richard it should be physically impossible for Richard to feel like Jared’s looking up at him I mean he isn’t he literally isn’t but somehow _somehow_ there it is, all troubled and searching and earnest, ‘You are, Richard. But - ’ and he takes a deep breath in. He’s close enough that Richard can feel the air move, ‘I worry that you may have your eyes so fixed on Kidd’s treasure chest that you don’t notice that your flag’s been replaced by the Jolly Roger.’

‘……..What?’

‘Captain Kidd’, says Jared. ‘A seventeenth-century privateer, and the only notable pirate to have actually buried treasure. Stevenson borrowed from his legend for Treasure Island – liberally embroidered, of course.’

‘…Thanks, Jared. But – like – I would notice if I’d become a _pirate_.’

And there – there’s that smile again. That sad ‘What about the next time, Richard?’ smile. ‘You didn’t last time.’

‘I – ‘

And Richard stops. Because the truth is – the truth is he _did_ notice. He just didn’t…care? Fuck knows. He didn’t have _time_ to care. He thought it’d be temporary. It was there, it was so close, everything was so close, the walls were inching in and only he could hear them, and the noise, the noise, the noise of Dinesh and Gilfoyle and Jared because he can hear Jared’s forehead crease when he frowns, when he looks sideways at him in concern, when he cries ‘for ordinary reasons’, and especially and always fucking always the noise in his own goddamn head, the whirring and the clacking and the chittering, the always always _always_ of it all.

And just – just – nobody, but nobody else, can carry his head except him. Nobody.

But he did it, didn’t he? He was willing to feed Pied Piper to Dan Fucking Melcher. And he didn’t want – he didn’t want fucking… _cookies_ from Jared, He didn’t. He just….he just wanted to tell him, I’m doing it, I’m stepping off the cliff, keep your eyes on me, bear witness, bear witness, and it wasn’t…

And Jared had _company_. And Richard said ‘this guy fucks’, and he said it with – with fucking l – _affection_ , and Jared’s still looking at him in fucking….more in sorrow than in anger.

Fuck you, Jared, you’re going to be so sorry when I tell you. It’s going to be _sweet_.

So Richard says ‘Maybe I _am_ a pirate, Jared.’

Jared’s head snaps up. And it’s there, right there, that Richard sees it. That Richard’s only confirming what Jared had always suspected.

‘No’, whispers Jared.

‘You’re a terrible liar’, says Richard, and he can’t keep the softness out of his voice. ‘I _am_ a pirate, Jared, and this is a pirate ship.’

‘No’, says Jared, shaking his head, ‘no, Richard. You’re better. You _are_ better. You can be better still. Pied Piper – Pied Piper’s _different_.’

‘It _is_ different’, says Richard. ‘Jared – Jared, don’t you see? The tech works. We could change everything. We could show everyone.’

It’s the wrong thing to say, he can see that. Jared’s stiffening.

‘Show everyone’, he repeats. His voice is metallic. ‘You would risk – your autonomy, your integrity, your _soul_ – to ‘show everyone’?’

Richard opens his mouth to speak, but he can’t. Jared’s eyes are on him. Pinning him. There’s a little patch of white around his nostrils.

He’s continuing, his body folding forward towards Richard’s, ‘Whom are you ‘showing’, Richard?’ (Richard can _hear_ the inverted commas clank into place). ‘The VCs who wouldn’t fund you? The bullies in high school? Winnie? Her boyfriend? Someone else you dated and haven’t thought about for a decade until you run into them and they do something absurd, inconsequential, infinitesimal that flicks your _ego_ on the raw?’

Richard’s mouth is very dry. He’s thrumming, furious, bursting to defend himself.

Aroused.

Jared’s not finished. ‘And whom will you sacrifice, Richard, whom will you sacrifice to the altar of the ‘everyone’ you’re showing? Dinesh? Gilfoyle? Me?’

Richard’s shaking his head, but Jared’s eyes are boring straight past him. ‘You can be a pirate, Richard, and I can’t stop you. But I left Kidd to join the Navy – to join you, Richard, to _serve_ you.’

And Richard can’t suppress his shiver at the word.

‘But, Richard, I will not serve on a pirate ship.’ Jared takes a breath. ‘I will walk the plank if I have to, Richard, I will cast myself adrift on the waves. Better the briny embrace of the sea than to strangle my own conscience.’

And he steps back. Richard opens his mouth and finds that he can speak, like his vocal cords would only work once they thought Jared had given them permission or something.

So he has no idea why he says ‘You’ll be back.’

Jared’s close, again, his eyes wide. ‘No, I won’t.’

‘You will’, says Richard, croons it almost, ‘you will, I’d find you, I’d come for you, you’d follow me, you did last time, you - ’

Jared recoils like he’s been struck. ‘Did you – was that why you came? So I’d – I’d follow you?’

‘Yes’, says Richard immediately. It’s a lie, he knows it’s a lie, he had no idea, he wasn’t even hoping, he thought it was goodbye, he was making his peace with it, he couldn’t believe it when Jared’s car pulled up next to him, what is he doing, but he can’t stop himself, his veins are singing, he’s not behind the wheel anymore, it’s this – this fucking Gremlin and he doesn’t, he can’t, oh the Gremlin’s saying something, what is it? ‘You want to – you want to save me. I could team up with a thousand Gavin Belsons, they could – they could fucking rock out in my head, and you’d come back, because you - ’

And even the Gremlin drops the wrench and ducks behind the seat, cowering. Because Jared has gone very white. His eyes are blazing, and he is looming over Richard, and of course Richard’s noticed how big Jared’s hands are, but holy fuck.

Richard swallows.

Jared speaks. It’s light, conversational even. ‘Because I - ?’

Richard swallows.

Jared moves in closer. Brackets Richard’s frame. Lowers his head. ‘Just… _say_ it, Richard.’

Richard’s knees buckle. It’s fear, probably. Yep, definitely fear. Some guilt at pushing Jared, his friend, his confidant, his – _his_ Jared. Some screeching at himself for pushing his luck for no good goddamn reason.

The boner _probably_ doesn’t help.

Richard licks his lips. Watches Jared track the movement. Coughs. ‘I told Gavin no.’

Jared frowns. ‘What?’

‘I told Gavin no. I told him he was a server company and we were coming for him and his kind and we’d make them obsolete.’

Jared’s eyes – those wonderful terrifying brilliant eyes – are doing so many things it hurts Richard’s head to try to catalogue them all. ‘You did – then – Richard, that’s – that’s _wonderful_.’

Richard tries to nod, shake his head and shrug all at the same time. He does…something. It seems to work, because there’s that blinding sunshine grin.

And then Jared says ‘But why didn’t – Richard, why did you _toy_ with me?’

And what can Richard even say?

Jared’s looking at him, a frown between his eyes. His patient, kind, infinitely understanding eyes.

And just – what even, Richard Hendricks.

And the silence stretches out, and Richard’s contributed nothing except a strangled cough.

And he’s hoping that Jared will, like, give up and walk away, but he knows his friend, and he’s hoping for the next best thing, like an earthquake would be good, because what is he going to say? _I was pissed that you wouldn’t extend me an unconditional belief that I have squandered hand over fist and why wouldn’t you wait for me Jared why wouldn’t you wait why did I have to walk into a fucking wall of women laughing in your apartment and also I pop wood when you scold me._

I mean.

Come _on_.

But then Jared – because Jared, lest Richard need reminding, Jared fucks – Jared gets tired of waiting for Richard, leans in, and growls ‘Richard? Tell me. Just tell me why you lied.’

And even Richard’s reflexive ‘Well, technically I didn’t _lie_ ’ dies on his lips, because _oh_. Oh _there_ it is. That _heat_ , that tight delicious heat that makes his blood bubble and his knees turn to water and his cock jerk in his pants.

Richard’s breath comes out, threadily. Jared’s eyes widen. He moves in closer, crowding Richard. Richard’s back hits the wall. Jared moves in closer, closer, closer, until – oh God – he can’t miss it, surely? No, there it is, an experimental brush against Richard’s groin, he knows, he knows, oh God, he – wait.

Richard’s eyes fly to Jared’s. Which are filled with that bright, unsettling gleam Richard’s only seen once before.

Jared leans in even closer, and Richard gasps at the unmistakeable hardness against his thigh.

‘Richard?’ Jared murmurs. ‘If you wanted me to admonish you, Captain, you only had to ask.’


End file.
